A Reflection Long Overdue

"Break me, Lord, that I might know You and proclaim Your glory throughout all the nations!"

Last summer, as I busy tried to prepare myself for the adventure of a lifetime, that had been my prayer.  I had recognized how frazzled I was feeling and in response, handed it over to the only One who could turn my anxiety into anything productive.
Months later, it is obvious that "frazzled" is a habit of mine, or God is just still in the process of breaking me-honestly, I believe it is a combination of the two-because today I find myself in a very similar state of mind.  I find myself as frazzled as ever, and probably doing a very poor job of pretending not to be so, as I attempt to prepare both myself and my circumstances for the continuing adventure before me.  This time, however, rather than requesting to be any more broken than I already am (out of fear that I may literally snap in half) I find myself fathoming, "Is this real life?"
Is this real life?  I have spent every day since March 5th, when I stepped off that last plane which had carried me all the way back across the pond, trying to answer this question.  And after all this time...the truth is my heart hurts.  It hurts to feel torn between to different (Or are they?) realities as I struggle to find the balance between the two that is normal.  But the more I live, the more of the world I see and experience, the more I doubt that "normal" even exists.  So again, here I find myself asking, "Is this real life?" (For all you YouTube fans-David's next question would be, "Is this gonna last forever? And don't worry, we'll get there at some point, I'm sure.)  The obvious answer is of course, yes! This is real life! All of this is very real.  The further question then is: Which one is reality?  My life here in the U.S. that I call home, or my life in Africa?
When I close my eyes I can see it...

I see little Lucy bound into my arms-her burnt, disfigured hand telling a story too many will never know.
I see precious James blush at the remarks the other boys make when I talk to him and smile.  As a young boy who has Downs Syndrome he is so blessed to have been taken into a home full of people who love in the midst of a world that would call him "cursed" and literally shun his presence in their naiveté.  But sweet James-all his joy knows is he has a new friend!
I see Rosie and her oh-so-silly faces that leave me laughing for hours!
I see absolutely precious Lisabeth in all her innocent joy and her heart-melting grin.
I see shy little Mary who grins whenever I look at her and never wants to let go of my hand for all the world.  I see her very determined as she puts her favorite bracelet around my wrist during church.  I see in her eyes how desperately she wanted me to stay back from the rest of my team so I could go to her birthday party...
I see 17 & 16 year old cousins Margret and Mary as they lead me through their shamba.  I see them proudly and generously prepare a sweet potato dinner for me, giving me a taste of home.  I see Margret's giant heart overflow through her tears as she listens to stories of others' hardships.  I see Mary's contagious joy in her every smile.
I see Esther smiling and laughing, giddy as we run through the jungle she calls home.  I see her cling to my arm and beg me not to leave.  I see her proudly and carefully prepare a chicken to be cooked for my teammates.  I see her find absolute joy in pure silliness! And I cringe at the sad thought of her being left motherless that same night, 14 years old; at the thought that there is nothing more I could've done to comfort her...
I see my Rwandan sister and brothers-giddy little Alice, Geoffrey, Desirée, and Faustine.  I see the power of hope in their eyes.  Oh, the adventures I have been so blessed to share with them!

The list goes on and on.  And then I open my eyes and here I am, home.  Home with my family, my friends, my house, my work...but none of it can ever feel the same because a part of my heart is still somewhere else.  Here, surrounded by people and a world that have watched me grow up over the past 10 years...something's still missing.  I fell in love with the dream of traveling to Africa when I was a a very little girl.  Now Rwanda and it's people have stolen a piece of my heart.  As much as I truly did love my adventures in Kenya and all the people I got to share them with and meet along the way...Rwanda will always be my first love.
Furthermore, as many people have asked me...

Am I going back?  Without a doubt, yes!  You could not keep me away from that red dirt even if you tried; the land of a thousand hills will still be calling my name.
When?  Not yet.  I know that it is not yet time for me to return to the place and the people I love with all my heart.  I have so much respect for the people who have been called to full time missions!  But that is not what I have been called to, especially in this season of my life.  God has put before me responsibilities that to some may seem worldly-responsibilities I have seen many young missionaries led to leave behind, but God is leading me to them.  And this next season of my life is going to enable me to do so much more good than I ever possibly could otherwise!

I need to go to school-college, university, whatever your english word is for it.  I have not been called to give up that opportunity.  However, I will not be going to George Fox University as I had originally planned, and I will not be learning Missions out of a book.  Actually (drumroll-very few people even know this yet), I will not even be staying in Oregon.  Or the Northwest, or even on the west coast.  It is no secret that since I got home I have been looking into various paths of Art Therapy study.  And I have found that here, at home and close to home, there are not very many options-and not one is direct!  There are, however, a few (and I mean very few) Pre-Art Therapy Major programs in the midwest.  One in particular program is far more prevalent, and I have been in contact with this school over the past couple months.
Last Friday, sitting getting pedicures with my mom, aunties, and very dear friend, I finally got the phone call informing me that I have been accepted to Indiana Wesleyan University!  After months of being asked what my next plans were, you have no idea what a relief it is to finally have an answer! There are still a lot of pieces of this puzzle to put into place in the upcoming weeks and months.  But for now I am so in awe of what a huge gift God has given me-when I boarded a plane to Kenya on September 28, 2012 I never dreamed that this is the path I would find myself on after such a crazy adventure in itself.  It really is the biggest blessing, in more ways than one.
So, I am moving to Indiana.  Not tomorrow, not next week.  It has yet to be determined whether this move will be happening 6 months from now, or 13 months from now.  But I know it is happening.  Until then, I am going to continue taking one day at a time.  Until then...

I will continue to watch in awe as God goes before me and levels the mountains, breaks through gates of bronze and cuts through bars of iron. I will watch as He presents treasures in secret places, constantly reminding me that He is God and He has summoned me by name. (Isaiah 45:2-3) I will rejoice as He continues to pick up my broken pieces and make me beautiful.  And when He calls me back to Rwanda, when He calls me to further proclaim His glory in all the nations, I will be ready.

~Chloe Anne

Transitioning Step by Step

As you may know, my team and I have now completed our outreach phase of DTS and are back at base for a few more days until graduation on Friday.  I will then be leaving Kenya on Saturday and will be that much closer to making my way home from Rwanda.  Over the next few days I will be catching up on my posts that are currently very rough journal entries!  But this is Africa, and nothing ever really goes according to planned.  And considering how much packing I have to do...I humbly ask that you and my beautiful mother would be patient with me. I promise updates are coming! And I truly am very much looking forward to sharing with you all what God has been putting on my heart, but it's coming.  Honestly, now that our debrief week has come and gone, I still fee like I am processing a lot.  We saw a lot  during our outreach. A lot of Kenya, of people, of the world...a lot of life. I truly believe there are some things, some experiences, that I will never completely process the full weight of.  And that's okay!  The past five months would have been the craziest, most emotional experience ever if I'd felt the full weight of it all on my shoulders every step of the way.  Any kind of life would be impossible to live that.  And I thank God that part of the beauty of life and the beauty His grace is that life is a very long learning process, so we process things based on their relevance to where we're at in life at that precisely that exact moment in time.
So, all this to say, I am in the process of summarizing what I've been up to in the past weeks and what God has been teaching me through it all.   I also plan to share just how I process all this craziness step by step, through Rwanda and as I transition to finally being back home with all the people, the weather, and yes, admittedly some of the comforts I've been without for so long.  I'm wondering if the coming back from five months in Africa will be filled with more emotional intensity than the 5 months themselves, but we'll see! For now, I'm just glad to be back at the base with a renewed sense of the semi-familiar in my life.  Consistency is not one of the things I plan to keep taking for granted, it's a beautiful thing, no doubt about it!

~Chloe Anne

"God, I come to You as a child."

As we enter into this new year, I feel as if so many things are zooming ahead of me.  So often I'm asked what I'm doing after DTS.  Why does it have to be such a complicated question?  Why can't "going home" simply be an adequate answer?  To me, the question of what I'm going to do is the same as asking whether I'm homesick - to which, the answer is most definitely yes.  I'm sick for wanting to be surrounded by the people who love me most in the world all the time.  Therefore, that's exactly what I'm going to do after DTS!  I'm going to spend as much time as humanly possible with the people I've hated living all these months on the other side of the world from.  

The past week we've been serving at a children's home, painting benches, along with other work they would have otherwise had to hire someone to do.  One of my benches says, "Let the little children come unto me, and do not hinder them.  For the Kingdom of Heaven belongs to such as these" in Swahili.  And right now, I am definitely coming to God as a child!  I am coming to my Heavenly Father, saying things like, "I miss my mommy!!"  And honestly, I don't feel guilty or like I'm whining at all.  Rather, I feel like a child always shares exactly how they feel with their parents, maybe not when they're older, but at least when they're little - and that's the most important time of growth.  When I picture myself in the presence of God, my Heavenly Father, I'm sitting on His lap with my head rested against His chest (if He has one?), and He's stroking my hair in one hand while He envelops my little hands in His other.  He's my Daddy!  He cries when I cry, laughs when I laugh, and has a giant smile on His face while I dance around my room in my pj's.  And no matter how old I get, that's never going to change.  In fact, at the beginning of this new year, with another birthday just over a month away, I feel more like God's little girl than I probably ever have.  I'm secure going wherever God calls me, and just acting like the dork that I am because I know it makes Him smile.  And yes, He probably shakes His head every once in awhile, but always out of pure joy.  My Daddy in heaven thinks I'm adorable - and I've found life is a lot more enjoyable when I choose to believe Him.

The past few months I've been in Kenya, I've realized the vitality of a revelation of identity in Christ.  If my identity and self worth were not in tune with that which God sees in me, the past months would have been absolutely miserable!  Because when people don't have a grasp of who they are in the Lord they look for that same sense of security anywhere and everywhere else.  That's when people lose themselves, when we're unable to grasp a Kingdom perspective.  Now, a Kingdom perspective in somewhat of a paradox - it's what allows us to feel so insignificant yet so valuable at the exact same time.  It shows us that no part of life in this world is for our comfort or our glory at all - I'm even less significant than that tiny little dot I watch myself become as the airplane rises higher and higher off the tarmac.  But remarkably, the God of All Creation takes me in as His own daughter!  As little as I am in this big world, there is nothing my Heavenly Father desires more than to have a personal relationship with me, Chloe Anne.  Everyday, He's leading me to become more and more of a woman after His own heart.  Everyday, He throws His arms open wide to comfort His little girl who misses her mommy so terribly and to rejoice in her life.  

I actually love that God sees me as His little girl!  Especially over these past months, it has been such a comfort to me.  I've mentioned before how I can feel so out of place here at times, and truth be told: that was probably an understatement!  For example, to be perfectly frank, Christmas Eve was absolutely miserable.  Apart from the expected severe homesickness and the late night hike to church, were the stares.  I couldn't shake the thought, "I do not belong here," from my mind.  Not one person in that room saw me as Chloe Anne, a daughter of The Most High God.  They saw me as a mzungu who must be really crazy to be out at a midnight Christmas Eve service far out in the bush bush of Africa, a mzungu who was a complete stranger to their doctrine of how loud to sing, when to stand up, when to sit down, when to nod, and when to say, "Amen!"  And probably a million other things I'm not even aware I do wrong (I'm very sure the list goes on and on!).  It was probably one of the most degrading experiences of my life.  And unfortunately, that degrading feeling is something I'm getting used to.  It comes with a lot of constant stares and is not something I ever experienced in Rwanda, but in Kenya all to often.  But as sad as it might be that this is something I'm used to, it's really not that big of a deal.  It becomes a big deal, however, when I'm not in tune with my identity in Christ.  That's why this revelation is so vital!  

If I wasn't so confident that each and every morning my Heavenly Father is waiting for me with open arms to show His little girl this beautiful world He's created and all the unfathomable plans He has ahead of me, I would probably be very unhappy with my current situation.  But, I'm not by any means!  As much as I may have just made it seem I am currently in the midst of a slight depression, I am really not!  Promise!  I am very content, thrilled, and truly thankful to be curled up in bed on this late Kenyan evening watching one of my favorite sisters in Christ play Fruit Ninja on my ipad and feeling the beds we pushed next to each other shake every time the giant pomegranate pops up on the screen.  I'm in the midst of an experience of a lifetime.  And I wouldn't trade one minute of it for anything - each of every second is a part of the experience, even being stared at on Christmas Eve.  It's moments where I exchange pictures with girls my age I will never meet again, make new international friends wherever I go, sit in a circle with my team of sisters laughing and listening to them talk about boys (girls really aren't that different no matter where you go), witness the light of Christ in these kids, and make a lasting mark in someone's life by simply painting a bench that make it all worth it.

We are now coming to the end of our third week of outreach (the second phase of YWAM's Discipleship Training School where students use the knowledge gained during the lecture phase to go out on tangible missions, traveling to partner with various churches and children's homes/orphanages in places of need in order to further make God known).  We're finishing the third of nine STM's (short term missions) all thrown into one big, non-stop adventure.  That means I've had African braids for four weeks now.  And, it means I have eight short weeks before I am officially homeward bound.  After thirteen of some rather long weeks, the remaining time is going to fly by!  As far away as it feels at times, I am going to be home before I know it.  And that's really lucky, because God knows........this little girl misses her mommy!

~ Chloe Anne

Living the Dream

December 3, 2012

"The next time that someone asks me, 'Are you living your dream?' I guess I'll know what to say.  I won't even have to think."  Now, I am sure when Colbie Caillat wrote this song living in the "bush-bush" of Africa is the last dream she had in mind.  But for the past few weeks the Lord has been bringing this phrase to my mind.  And the more I meditate on it, the more I realize how much it applies to this season of my life...
So often throughout these past three months I've found myself contemplating the true beauty of grace.  The beauty of grace is that it makes life not fair.  More specifically, the beauty of grace is the message of salvation; the message that not after we started to become perfect did the Son of God come to Earth to set us free from our past transgressions.  No, but rather while we were still sinners He came to receive our punishment for, not our past sins, but our sins of past, present, and future-of yesterday, today, and tomorrow-thoughts and deeds alike.  Ephesians chapter 2 (verses 6-10) says,
"God raised us up with Christ and seated us with him in the heavenly realms in Christ Jesus, in order that in the coming ages he might show the incomparable riches of his grace, expressed in his kindness to us in Christ Jesus.  For it is by grace you have been save, through faith-and this is not from yourselves, it is the gift of God-not by works, so that no one can boast.  For we are God's handiwork, created in Christ Jesus to do good works, which God prepared in advance for us to do."
It is my hope that I am not only willing to acknowledge this grace as I set out for each day, but that I would be radical and courageous enough to take full responsibility for these "good works" the Bible tells me I am predestined to do.  This isn't going to be easy; it likely will not be very popular at times, or maybe not even very enjoyable.  (For instance, pit toilets are very much unenjoyable especially after a few months, I tell you!)  Learning to take on this responsibility is going to be a great feat.  Titus chapter 2 (verse 12) tells us that this grace "teaches us to say 'No' to ungodliness and worldly passions, and to live self-controlled, upright, and godly lives in the present age!"  It's not about attaining perfection in the future, but about working to develop our character now.
Unfortunately, in today's society this isn't a very popular idea, even among many Christians-Christians who would rather live their lives in the light of the gospel of salvation rather than working for the gospel of the Kingdom.  But that's okay, because I don't want my life to be lived in a box; there should be no box that anyone can fit me in other than the one that has been uniquely shaped, by God, for me alone.  I have been called to be in the world, but in no way am I to be of the world.  I want to confuse people, make them think.  I want to be a juxtaposition.  I want to be like the Rabi that hung out with thieves!
With this in mind, there shouldn't be anywhere that I feel I fit in perfectly; nowhere on this earth I feel I belong. But there is always going to be somewhere I am called.  And right now, that's Kenya....So often in the midst of this journey I feel out of place!  I'm sitting in the bush-bush of Africa and so often feeling like a fish out of water: a (very) white muzungu in an African world; an Oregon raincloud being dried up by the hot sun; a fragile flower being pressed down by the wind.  Sometimes I'm struck by the fact that I really, truly am a world away from all I call familiar-everything I know!  But yes, still I can honestly say that this is me living out the dream.  Right now, for these next couple months, this is exactly where I am called to be.  Then it's Rwanda for a short trip, and then it's home.  I know there's work God has for me at home to do too.  But how long God will call me to stay there, or where He will call me to go after that, well that's in His hands, and I know He'll fill me in when the time comes.
Now that's scary; it's scary to not know where He wants me to go next!  But that's where remembering where I belong comes into play.  I belong in Christ, and as long as I'm in Him, I am secure being anywhere in the world.  I'm not saying I've been dreaming of pit toilets, strange food, orange feet at the end of every day, crazy wild animals waiting outside our base at night, or weird scary little things that crawl throughout my whole life.  In fact, I can say that I've never dreamt of that.  But the other day I realized just how perfectly God's been preparing me for this experience over the past four or five years.  Yes, my past two trips to Rwanda were definitely a big help, but God's planning has been more intricate than that.  For years now, I've been volunteering with my church's food ministry program.  The first couple years I would go to church with my mom and help cook lunch for people in the community, serve it to them, and interact with them while we ate together.  But for the past two years I have been working with another part of the food ministry called The Market-going through donated food from grocery stores in the community and organizing it all in such a way that it was set up like a market for the lunch guest to go through and collect whatever food they could use for that upcoming week.  Since being here at DTS, my work duty has been Kitchen (cooking and cleaning dishes) for the first month, and Hospitality (serving and cleaning the speaker's living area) for the past 2, and during outreach I will be working in the Kitchen department (planning meals and making sure we have all the food items we need wherever we're at that week). Coincidence? Well, considering I don't believe in coincidences, I don't think so...It's encouraging to see how God's had has been over me this whole time.
Right now, I can feel in my spirit this is exactly where God has called me to be at this time in my life.  And as we are preparing to leave on outreach throughout Kenya for the next 9 weeks my spirit is rejoicing that this is exactly what God is calling me to do.  This outreach is exactly why I've been brought to Kenya.  And the fact that it is finally here, while stressful because I have to pack all over again in preparation to live out of a backpack for two months, is absolutely thrilling! This is the dream; that Christ no longer calls me servant, but friend and I am carrying out the work that has been appointed to me! (John 15:15-16) The dream that I am exactly where God has called me to be, doing exactly what He has called me to do.  The dream...is what I am living.  So, next time someone asks me, "Are you living the dream?" I'll know exactly what to say.

~Chloe Anne

Like a Family

October 23, 2012

  From what I’ve seen this weekend, an orphanage-when filled with the love of Christ-is like one big family.  Now this big family has about 50 children ranging from 3 to 18, a “Mamma,” a “Daddy,” and many aunts and many aunts and uncles.  It functions as a single unit; they all look after one another.  The sense of responsibility to take care of their brothers and sisters is especially obvious in the older boys (the oldest girls are away at boarding school so we were unfortunately not getting the chance to meet them).  All of these kids possess the purest sense of joy-a truly inspiring feat when you consider all they have been through in just their few short years.
 Every Saturday, because that is when most of the kids are home from school, serves as a day of family chores.  So we spent today helping out this family in whichever ways they required.  A few others and I spent the morning sorting beans and maize (corn).  And, of course, as visitors we attracted a few little helpers along the way.  Then it was time for a tree climbing break; and not just any tree, the biggest avocado tree I have ever seen!  (Sorry, Mom…I know you have always done your best to keep me out of the tree in our yard…but I have always had a spirit that led me up higher than my brothers.  Besides, I just couldn’t resist following these little munchkins.)  The cherry tree in my front yard back at home has been my place to think when the walls of my little world felt like they were about to cave in.  It has been a place where I can separate myself from the world; separate spirit from body.  I felt the same way up in that avocado tree with these kiddos!  We were free.  We were connected by one spirit, the Holy Spirit, simply enjoying its fullness within us.
 When we finally made our way down, we went to the dining hall to help with the very big project of shelling peas.  (I have never seen so many peas in my life!) And of course, what else would we occupy our minds with during this long process besides watching a Barbie Fairytopia movie?!  Now this was the first television I had watched in a month, so I was probably a bit more entertained than I should have been-not something I am particularly proud of, but I am definitely not ashamed either.  Hey, through these Barbie movies (we watched two) the kids, my teammates, and I were taught the value of our uniqueness and the importance of staying true to yourself-there’s value in that! About halfway through the second movie we finished our pea prep, at which point I found at least 10 little hands in my hair.  Some little girls were very determined to see African braids in this mzungu hair!  They had started the process Friday night almost immediately after our team arrived and were continuing their salon work-which seemed to follow me everywhere that I sat still for more than five minutes.  But their task was proving more difficult than anticipated…these mzungu braids were magic!  Who knows how, but every night they seemed to undo themselves…it’s a mystery!
 My salon reconvened after dinner (chapatti-a tortilla like bread-beans, and tea), which of course we ate, as I like to say, “like a family.”  If you have seen early episodes of the TV show “The Middle” you may understand the reference but if not…we ate dinner while watching TV.  One of the older boys put on Madagascar 2, but that was quickly fixed because, of course, we had to finish our Barbie movie!  The younger kids were shocked that anyone could possibly think otherwise.
 After dinner I took a real shower with hot RUNNING water!  Okay, now it may have not quite been a “real” shower (the shower head was in the same stall as a toilet), but after a month of buckets…it was close enough for me!  Then I curled up in my sleeping bag on the bed I was sharing with my sweet sister, Antonia, with my Bible and a pen and I picked out the points of David and Goliath I would share (preach!) in Sunday school the next morning.  Then, as some truly precious little night-owls played games in groups up by the dining hall (located a good distance away from the dorms), I fell asleep to the sound of pure, joyous laughter.
 Sunday morning was a little bittersweet because we knew it was our last day with the kids.  I got up and got myself read for church, then went to go help serve the kids breakfast of rolls, leftover chapatti, and tea.  Each one of them said, “Thank you,” in one language or another…After breakfast it was time to preach!  I told the story of David and Goliath, Antonia translated my words into Swahili for some of the younger kids, and Menzo (Goliath) & Tobi (David) acted out a very loud, somewhat aggressive, and extremely comic version of the tale.  Comic because, of course, they had decided to do this at the very last minute when the groups of kids were split up differently than anticipated.  So it was completely unrehearsed.  The kids loved it!  I found myself continuing to wake up to the same laughter that I had fallen asleep smiling to the night before. 
 Finally, after coming together for the main service everyone shared a delicious butternut squash soup lunch. (This in itself made me miss my mom terribly!)  Then Anne, who was my little shadow for the weekend-especially after her Mamma relayed to her in Swahili that Anne was also one of my names-enjoyed some time on the playground with me.  The tire-swing made us both giddy with laughter!  Still, there came a point when I had to watch Anne’s sweet little tears as our van drove away.  But I have been assured by her Daddy that I will see her again!  They want to bring some of the kids and come for our DTS graduation in February; he promised me he would bring my precious little Anne.
 This was our first taste of outreach.  I can already tell the final 9 weeks of my trip to Kenya will be joyous and spirit-filled.  I cannot wait!

~Chloe Anne

Right Here, Today

Now, as I prepare to go on my first outreach trip of this journey, I am frantically typing.  In a matter of hours I will be on my way to spend the weekend serving at a children's home near Nairoi with about half of the rest of my team.  I am so looking forward to discovering what this weekend will bring!  I am excited for the things I am going to learn, the relationships I will be blessed to form, and all the opportunities God has awaiting me.  While I will greatly miss my brothers and sisters I will leave behind at the base, I am grateful for the ones I take with me and the bonding moments we are bound to share! 
This week has been a truly exciting one.  I was so happy to have my brothers and sisters back with me after my quite, yet eventful weekend!  It was a joy to see them return to our home away from home.  Monday we started a very new and exciting teaching from the founder of our base, an Englishman, Edward Ravenhall.  God has spoken so profoundly through him all week. I can’t wait until his book comes out! 
It was good to spend time with him and his two friends, Dave and Dawn, he brought with him-simply sharing meals, going to see African big cats with them like I did on Monday, taking our tea break in the middle of our morning lecture with them, etc.  For, as Ed would describe it, through this interaction with him, just as with other Christians, we have been glimpsing the Kingdom of God.  This is an incredible revelation he has been giving us this week as we have studied the character of God.  It has ben a great encouragement to us, to go out into the world and actively build up God’s Kingdom in everything we do by increasing the amount of God’s character we embody and release into the world around us.  A call crying, “Waken the saints.  Arouse a sleeping Church.”  And this starts right here. It starts today, on a weekend outreach at a children’s home as God continues to tenderize my heart for His people.
~Chloe Anne

My third Sunday in Kenya…

October 14, 2012
My third Sunday in Kenya…Every week holds the same overall schedule during the lecture phase of DTS, so we count time with Sundays and speakers.  I can tell this base is starting to feel like a second home, or at least I’m getting used to (most) everything (not the continuous presence of spiders in the pit toilet at night…), because when they changed things up on us for the weekend it began to feel foreign.  Over half of our team has been on outreach for the weekend, serving at an orphanage near Nairobi.  I didn’t think it could get more quiet and peaceful here than it already was.  I was definitely wrong!  We’ve definitely been missing some big personalities around here lately.  I’m looking forward to all my brothers and sisters getting home tonight!
However, I have appreciated the chance to relax the past few days.  The quiet was especially beneficial on Friday after I almost fainted from dehydration (I’m presuming) combined with the heat of the traditional African kitchen when we were cooking dinner.  After some severe dizziness, I sat down outside in the refreshing breeze and then went back to my room to lie down until it was time for dinner.  And with rest, some food, water, and extra electrolytes in me I felt much better, and I have ever since! (I would be honest if I was feeling anything else!)  The loving prayers of my family and some long-awaited Skype sessions also helped lift my spirits significantly!
Now, I’ve grown up with brothers.  I’m not too much of a “girl’s girl,” you might say…So Saturday was also very refreshing. The birds woke me to a grey, rainy African morning.  Which, of course, helped me to feel right at home!  It struck me as funny though that our group felt it necessary to wait out the rain before we moved on with our day-definitely not something an Oregonian is used to!  But I played along and waited in the dining hall with Fred and Menzo & Tobi (the two European guys on our team) until the rain calmed to a sprinkle.  Then the four of us walked about 15-20 minutes to the nearest town.  We had to wait a bit for a reasonably priced (less than 50 cents) mutatu, or “van bus” as I like to call it, because they had raised the prices due to the rain and the number of people waiting (not to mention there were a few muzungus present, although we were assured that had nothing to do with it).  I was especially grateful guys traveling with me when a drunken man started singing “You’re so beautiful, you’re so beautiful…” to me.  I may have boarded the mutatu that had just arrived by the grace of God with a little more determination….But my brothers here really do a great job of looking out for me!  We sat 4 YWAMers across the bench with me on the inside, and as we walked through our main town I was always the middle duckling that followed Fred around.  I’m sure we were quite a sight!  Once we’d been dropped at the bus stop, our first trip was to the ATM for the Europeans to withdraw money.  We then made our way to the supermarket (it really is a supermarket!) and shared some factory packaged meat and dinner rolls to make sandwiches along with our own juice or soda (I had a bottle of Pepsi!).  Then Fred went to get his shoes fixed while the three of us wandered around together doing our muzungu shopping.  For me, this included: popcorn, apples, a Kit-Kat, apple juice, chips for Lisa, and laundry soap & highlighters for Emily.  Finally, probably my favorite thing that we did in town was go to the traditional produce market.  I so wish I had pictures of this place!  But we’ve been really discouraged from taking pictures without asking, a lot of Kenyans believe muzungus take pictures to take them home and laugh with their friends, and I’m not sure I why I wanted to take a picture would have translated well even with Swahili translation.  Maybe my next trip will provide a better opportunity.  For now, I’m satisfied with my green oranges that taste a little more like limes! (The lady we bought them from gave me an extra than what I paid her for, I guess because I was sweet! ;) When she asked which I wanted, I asked her to pick because she knew which were best-but who knows how much of that translated.)
And today was another, very traditional African Sunday…I was the only muzungu who went to church with this group, so I got a lot of extra attention from giggling faces peeking around their friends! It was precious.  And I was told multiple times that I looked like a real Kenyan lady, my long blue dress proved I knew how to dress for African church-so that might have added to the children’s confusion. :) When we went outside to “help” with Sunday school because there wasn’t going to be a translation during the Swahili service, we discovered that we WERE Sunday school!  Which at first glance isn’t a huge issue, we had a Swahili-speaking girl with us, my sister Antonia, but…not one of the younger children even spoke Swahili! There was no chance of translation or communication whatsoever.  We managed to explain Duck, Duck, Goose first in English to Antonia, then in Swahili to one of the two teenagers present, then in a Kenyan tribal language to the kids; and so we played that for a good 45+ minutes.  But even that turned into “Jack, Jack, Ghost!”  Afterwards it was all we could do to relax with the kids and make sure they didn’t fall and crack their heads open on the giant pile of stones they were climbing on until service ended.  It was quite the experience!  Following the service they had prepared an exceptionally nice lunch for our base leader (because he is on staff at the church) and us, his visitors.  We ate chipati (a tortilla is the only similar thing I can think of), white rice, and cabbage with other veggies and some kind of meat in it.  The amount of work and preparation that had gone into our meal is quite obvious.  So as the only muzungu present, I prayed that I wouldn’t get sick from anything that might have come in contact with the food during its preparation, and ate up!  It was so humbling…Truly an experience I will never forget.
~Chloe Anne